Psalm 51: Sacrifices

Perhaps
if I give you
some of my time.
Perhaps
if I give you
some of my strength.
Perhaps
if I give you
some of my things.
Perhaps
if I give you
some of my thoughts.
Perhaps
if I give you
some of my success.
Perhaps
if I give you
some of my relationships.
Surely
these sacrifices
will bring you delight.
Surely
these offerings
will bring you joy.
I'm quite willing
to give a tithe
I'm quite willing
to interrupt
my schedule.
I'm quite willing
to volunteer
to serve.
I'm quite willing
to do
my part.
But I get the sense
that you're not satisfied
with a piece of me.
I get the sense
that momentary giving
momentary service
momentary sacrifice
momentary ministry
the momentary turning
of my heart to you
will not satisfy you.
But I must admit
that I'm afraid
of what you require.
I'm afraid of a
broken spirit.
I'm afraid of a
contrite heart.
I'm afraid to be
crushed by your grace.
So I try to
distract you
with my service
distract you
with my time
distract you
with my money.
Deep inside
I know what you want.
Deep inside
I'm sure of what you require.
I'm afraid
because I want to hold onto
my heart.
I want
to give it to other things.
I want to
pursue pleasures
outside of you.
I'm afraid
to give you
what would satisfy you.
I'm afraid of a
broken heart.
So I regularly offend you
with empty offerings
and vacuous praise.
Hoping
to my own destruction
that you'll be satisfied.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:17)