Psalm 51: Hoping for a Broken Heart

I am too satisfied
with the things I say
the things I do
the attitudes
of heart
that shape my reactions
day
after
day
after day.
I too easily
accept
quick assessments
of my own righteousness
in situations
where I have been
anything but
righteous.
I am too skilled
at mounting
plausible arguments
structured
to make me feel okay
about what I think
what I desire
what I say
what I do.
I am too defensive
when a loved one
makes an attempt
to call me out
and suggest
for a moment
that what I
have decided
said
or done
is less than
godly.
I am too
comfortable
with the state of things
between
You and me
too relaxed
with the nature
of my love for You
too able to
minimize
my need for Your
grace.
In the recesses
of my private
world
there is so much
that is wrong
that I am able
to convince myself
is right.
There are attitudes there
that should not be.
There are words there
that should not be
spoken.
There are thoughts
that do not agree
with Your view
of me
and mine.
There are desires
that take me in a
different direction
than what You have planned
for me.
I make decisions
based more on what
I want
than on what
You will.
So I am hoping
for
wise eyes
that are able
to see through
the cloud of
self-righteousness
and see myself
as I actually
am.
I am praying
for
wise ears
that are able
to hear through
the background noise of
well used platitudes
and hear myself
with clarity.
And I am longing
for
a humble spirit
that is willing
to
accept and confess
what You reveal
as You break through
my defenses
and show me
to me.
I am hoping
for
a broken heart.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51: 17)