Psalm 27: Hearts at Rest

"Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear..."

I would like to say
that
my heart is at rest,
but I can't.
I would like to think
that
I always rest in God's care,
but I don't.
I would love to declare
that
my faith is unwavering,
but it isn't.
I wish it was a fact
that
fear is a thing of my past,
but it simply isn't.
It would be nice to know
that
trust's struggle is over,
but it isn't.
I wish I never wanted
to be
my own sovereign,
but I do.
I want to have unbroken rest
in
the hand of God's love,
but I don't.
I long to face difficulty
without
question or doubt,
but I don't.
I do not want to
re-question
my Father's love,
but I do.
I wish I never questioned
the
Lord's good plan,
but I do.
The struggle is better
than
it once was,
but not done.
My rest is more consistent
than
it used to be,
but not complete.
My heart enjoys a greater ease
than
in earlier days of faith,
but unrest comes.
I have lived with you
and
seen your care,
but questions come.
I have seen you do
what
I could not have conceived,
but still doubt.
I have been in awe
of
the provisions of your grace,
but anxiety comes.
I have submitted myself
to
your will and way,
but still rebel.
So with rest in your forgiveness
and
confidence in your power,
I come.
With a needy heart
that
craves your help,
I pray:
"Help me Father today
to
let go of my need,
to always understand.
Enable me to live in rest
when
I don't know before
what will happen.
Help me to have a restful heart
when
opposition is great,
and all I have is you."