Thursday, March 22, 2007

Psalm 51:Romans 7

I am a mass of contradictions, I don’t want to be but I am.
I preach a Gospel of peace, but my life isn’t always driven by peace.
I talk about a Jesus who alone can fully satisfy the soul, but I am often not satisfied.
I celebrate a theology of amazing grace, but I often react in ungrace.
And if I rest in God’s control, why do I seek it for myself?
Even in moments when I think I am prepared, I end up doing what I didn’t want to do.
Irritation
Impatience
Envy
Discontent
Wrong talk
Anger
Self-focus
Are not the fruit of the new life, are not the way of grace.
So there is this law operating inside of me.
When I step out with a desire to do good, evil follows me wherever I go.
There is this war that rages inside of me, between a desire for good and sin that is anything but good.
There are times when I feel like a prisoner, held against my will.
I didn’t plan to be mad at the grocery store, but that guy made me mad.
I didn’t plan to be discontent, but it just enveloped me in the quietness of the car.
That discussion wasn’t supposed to degenerate into an argument, but it did.
I am thankful for God’s grace, but there is daily evidence that I'm still in need of help.
That battle inside me cannot be solved by
Theology
Strategies
Principles
Techniques
Plans
Preparation
Helpful hints
Outlines
I have been humbled by the war I cannot win.
I have been grieved by desires I cannot conquer.
I have been confronted by actions I cannot excuse.
And I have come to confess that what I really need is rescue.
So, have mercy on me, O God,
According to your unfailing love
According to your great compassion
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
And cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions
And my sin is always before me.
I embrace the rescue that could only be found in you.
Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!

5 Comments:

At 11:47 AM, Anonymous Jason said...

Paul - thank you for these honest and raw reflections! Very encouraging. I'm hoping to come to the event at South Eastern next week.

 
At 4:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank your for such an encouraging post. I struggled with this exact thing last night at 1:00 a.m. I believe it was God who woke me to help me wrestle with these very truths. God is so good. Thank you again for an incredibly encouraging ministry!!!
R in Wisc.

 
At 3:18 AM, Anonymous Denise M. said...

I echo the other two. Thank you for this post and your dedication to be real, open, honest, and loving as you minister.

 
At 6:08 PM, Blogger Jimmy D. said...

Paul - yes, I feel that same Romans 7 angst you've so accurately expressed here. Thanks be to God for Romans 8:1.

 
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